Deadly Ever After

Archive for the tag “gifts”

Julie’s Bookie Gifty Recommendations

TODAY’S BREW: Pumpkin Spice. Because I will love it forever.

By Julie


Today I shall give you my book recommendations for when you inevitably screech “OH SHIT I NEED TO GET AUNT TRUDIE A PRESENT AND SHE’S SO RACIST AND SO MEAN AND SHE COOKS LIKE SHIT! WHAT DO I GET A PERSON LIKE THAT?!”

You’ll get that bitch what I get everyone on earth, or wish everyone would get for me. BOOKS. I give books that I like. Period. Don’t be afraid to get someone a book they might not get themselves, but that you love. Fucking discovery and shit. It’s science. I shall give you both paperback and eBooks. Commence reading!

These books, in particular:

  1. Oh yeah, it’s happening. RUNNING HOME. Seriously, it has snow, and Christmas, and romance, but weird romance, and betrayal and blood. And more Christmas, and even Christmas ornaments. And it smells like peppermint brownies. And the cover is so pretty!
  2. SHIVER by Maggie Stiefvater. I’ve read this series over and over. Again, beautiful snowy feel to it, but with a dynamic cast of characters and a fantastic, intriguing storyline, written by a true poet. Gorgeous.
  3. THE SHINING, Stephen King. It’s a classic holiday horror, and even if they’ve read it before, fuck ’em if they can’t take a joke. This book is worth reading every year.
  4. SHADOW AND BONE, Leigh Bardugo. This book took me completely by surprise with its stunning imagery, complex relationships, incredibly original plotlines and worldbuilding. One of my favorite books of the year by far.
  5. NEVERWHERE, Neil Gaiman. You can’t go wrong giving someone who’s never read Gaiman this book. If they don’t like it, they don’t get any present next year at all.
  6. BLACKBIRDS, Chuck Wendig. I’m in love with Miriam Black, her story, her mouth, her abilities, and I’m in love with the attention Chuck gives to making sure there is a complexity to this story. Holes Black gets herself into that you pray she can find her way out of. An incredible read with endless possibility.
  7. DISCOREDIA, J.C. Michael. Brand new author who’s been poring over this novel for a long time. I have waited over a year for the paperback of this book to come out to hold in my grubby little mitts, and now I can have it. And it’s set at New Year’s, so winning.
  8. AGENTS OF LIGHT AND DARKNESS, Simon R. Green. I’ve given this book to so many people, I might be on Green’s PR staff now. He’s my favorite author and this is my favorite work of his. I can’t say enough.
  9. HOLIDAYS ON ICE, David Sedaris. I read this book years ago, and it never left me. Perfect for this time of year, and it’s a sure winner with any reader.
  10. DEEP KISS OF WINTER, Kresley Cole and Gena Showalter. I’m reading this right now, and really enjoying it. I wanted something with bite, but light enough to feel like an escape at the end of the day. This is it. It would be a great gift.


  1. BECAUSE THE NIGHT, by our very own Kristen Strassel will be under everyone’s E-tree this year.
  2. ON THE LIPS OF CHILDREN, by my brother at Books of the Dead Press, Mark Matthews is only 99 cents right now, and wow, what a goddamn read. I love this book so hard.
  3. BOUND, by J. Liz Hill. For Chrissakes, the cover is so goddamn pretty.
  4. SINGULARITY, by Joe Hart. I love the way the man writes, and impatiently await my copy of his new book in the mail.
  5. UNTETHERED, by Katie Hayoz. “Sylvie isn’t comfortable in her own skin.  In fact, there are times she can’t even manage to stay inside it.” That’s all I need to hear.

Screwing Up Father’s Day: An Inevitable Tale

TODAY’S BREW: A helluva lot of K-cups. My coffee pot broke. I REPEAT: MY COFFEE POT BROKE.

by Julie

I could name many things that are imminently approaching. Right now, I’m just naming one, because I fail at it every frigging year.


For Mother’s Day, moms expect lots of stuff. Peace and quiet, breakfast in bed, spa day, stuff like that. I don’t, I have my own preferences. New books, a movie, cake, a day walking around Cape Cod with my family. I may not get all of these things, but Tim makes a serious effort every year. Like, real deal effort.

Dads expect nothing. Because all they ever get is crap.

One year, I tried to set up a fishing date for the husband, and that didn’t work out. I did once make a miraculous breakfast, with a recipe and everything, and that went over well. Tim wears no ties, I can’t pick out his clothes, he doesn’t play golf, he doesn’t really read. Giving him photos of the kids is getting old. So what in the hell do I do?

I’d like to do something out of the comfort zone, something that says I put thought into it. Turns out, my thinking skills are piss poor. I got nothing. So, tell me, menfolk, what are your wishes for Father’s Day? Give me something to go on. I’m dying here. And like every other year, I’ll end up saying “sorry, I suck at this.”

I don’t want to suck at this.

Keep in mind, it’s my husband, Tim that I have trouble doing for. My stepfather is way too easy. Get the man a box of chocolate covered cherries and he’s king for a day. When my dad was alive, something with a Bruins logo on it, and he was pleased as punch. This guy? Tim is happy all the time, no matter what. How the fuck am I supposed to deal with that?

Gentlemen, don’t let me down here. I have work to do.

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