TODAY’S BREW: Alcohol until I am drunk.
TODAY’S BREW: Pumpkin Spice! Because I am finished with this summer crap.
I am desperate for autumn.
I cannot WAIT for my six year old to be in school all day. He needs constant mental stimulation. Constant. I cannot provide it. I am going mental providing it.
Also, I need the following things:
With autumn comes a return to normalcy for me. The schedule is partly planned out, which means I am no longer Mom Camp Organizer. I suck at Mom Camp. I find it impossible to enjoy things that are hot, bright and loud, and that is all summer is to me. I cannot even pretend to enjoy it anymore. A month of this was enough. And I have a month more to go. I may not make it.
I look forward to the following things at this, the tail end of summer:
There you have it. Once all of these things have occurred, my mental health will return to its previous state of only slightly manic. Because right now, guys, I am all over the place. I have never spent so much time entertaining in my life. I need my solitude to write, and these damn kids get up earlier every day, eliminating my early morning write time. It is making me an unbearable person, I’m afraid. This post is a reminder that I am not always an incorrigible bitch, only some of the time. And that time will return soon. Until then, buckle up, because Camp Mom is on the tear.
TODAY’S BREW: The end of my S’mores coffee. Now I must drink coffee like a peasant.
HOLY JESUS CHRIST, RUNNING HOME WILL BE OUT IN A WEEK.
Before the masses meet my main man, Nicholas French, you guys do.
Nicholas is a bit of a celebrity among the Shinigami vampires. The classic ‘men want to be him and women want to be with him’ golden boy that does everything just a little better than everyone else, and never lets you forget it. One of those guys that everybody likes almost as much as he likes himself. Sincere underneath the sarcasm that will bite your face off, what you see is what you get with Nicholas, once you dig deep enough, if you get that close.
When Ellie gets her first glimpse of him, he looked like this:
But usually, he’s more like this:
He may look really good in a tux, but he’s a lot more of a thermal shirt, tee shirt, shirtless guy, living deep in the woods in a cabin he and a few of his fastest friends built, filled with a bunch more stuff that he built, all of which help hide him away when he can’t take being Nicholas French, public spectacle anymore.
His connection to Ellie is evident right away. Only he knows why, and he’s not telling. It makes things agonizing for Ellie much of the time, knowing that there is more to how they feel about each other, and having to trust Nicholas when he says it will all make sense one day. Nothing ever makes sense for Ellie Morgan, and when Nicholas shows up, filling all the gaps she’s always lived with, she doesn’t care to wait to uncover any more mysteries. As usual, Nicholas knows what’s best, and the rest of us are just along for the ride.
You may have noticed, Nicholas looks a lot like Robert Downey Jr.
THAT’S BECAUSE HE KINDA IS.
So, if you had another vision of him, sorry. But this charming, mature, painfully witty, well-read, martial artist extraordinaire is Nicholas French in every aspect, right down to his voice and eyes that can almost make his snarky comments for him. He’s perfect. And like any perfect man, he has depths that stay hidden even from him at times, making him not just another pretty face. And arms. And hands and abs and thighs.
Wait, what was that? Oh yeah, blog post!
I don’t want to tell you about Nicholas’s life here, or why he’s a vampire, or what the Shinigami truly are. I don’t want to tell you what tortures my Nicholas….Ellie’s Nicholas, whatever….but you’ll know soon enough. I promise surprises with this character that you won’t soon forget.
Today’s Brew: Let’s spike some egg nog. This makes me in the mood for Christmas.
by Kristen. Obvs. Julie can’t cook.
One of the things that attracts Ellie Morgan to Nicholas is that her first memory of him is his scent; peppermint brownies. The vampire’s scent is ever-changing. Ellie equates the scent of baked goods with home, something she doesn’t know, and fears she never will. Intended to lure her in, Nicholas’s scent speaks to this basic need of hers.
Lure in your own prey with this recipe!
Everyone knows that food is love. I love to cook, and share my creations with other people, which is usually Julie. Every time I bring a dish somewhere, it’s always brownies. Not to be a self important you know what, but my brownies are the bomb. It’s an undisputed fact. People have proposed marriage after having them.
In celebration of Running Home’s release, I will share my recipe, which is more like a formula, for these little squares of heaven. And forget about your diet.
I don’t share my secrets with just anyone, so realize this is a classified info. Please make them and share. With me. As I said before, food is love.
TODAY’S BREW: Is hot dogs a brew?
I am absurdly lucky, or intensely egotistical in that I have no regrets in life. People say this, but really do have them, and say it just to be cool. I firmly believe that every choice I’ve made is the choice I had to make for various reasons, and that I would not be as happy as I am today if I had done differently. I try everything I want to, to a stupid degree. Even things I don’t want to, I do because I don’t ever want to say that I didn’t try it.
One time I was invited to a fire walk, one of those things where you take your shoes off on the beach and walk across hot coals? I declined. Then the “please, just come, you can just watch” happened, and I said no, I cannot because I can never just watch. I always have to do it. I’m a jerk that way.
But there is one thing I have always wanted to do, always wanted to try, and just never have. Not fear, just laziness. This, I do regret.
I have wanted to learn how to use kamas. These super amazing weapons:
I like these ones the mostest mostest:
They were originally used throughout Asia to cut crops, but have evolved into weaponry.
I mean, come on. This chick looks awesome with these weapons in hand, and I bet she’s even cooler practicing with them.
AND I AM SO MUCH COOLER THAN THIS.
In all seriousness, I have weirdly always felt attracted to them as a weapon, and always felt like they were my weapon. Like picking them up would feel right, that this would be my thing. I can use other weapons, and anything can become a weapon, but I am drawn to these things in a way I can’t explain. Have been since I was a teenager.
So, I guess saying this to all you folks solidifies that I need to learn how to use the kamas, or else I’ll look like that person who says “I always wanted to do that but I just never found the time,” and holy shit does that annoy me. Now I have this mission, and all it was was a goddamn blog post. For Hell’s sake.
TODAY’S BREW: S’mores coffee all the live long day.
SHE LEFT ME ALL ALONE WITH HER BIRD AND 2 KIDS.
Kristen is in my favorite place in all the world, England until NEXT THURSDAY! I was there way too long ago with a bunch of friends and my then-future husband, drawn mainly by the punk festival Holidays in the Sun, which was SPECTACULAR and WEIRD AS HELL AT MOMENTS, but we did All The Things while we were there and the husband and I dream of moving there forever and ever. Until then….I live vicariously through Kristen, who had better get me the best presents ever.
She comes home the day Running Home is released, and until then I am all alone in the world and she expects me to water her plants ACCORDING TO INSTRUCTIONS, like I never watered a plant before. And yes, I may have a black thumb, per se, but I have several plants that I have had for several years that like me just fine.
It makes it hard, because of the jealousy of course, that she has gone to my favorite place without me, not to plot little pranks while she is away. She knows she’s coming home to an Edward Cullen doll. BUT WHERE WILL IT BE? In her bed? Too obvious, not creepy enough. It has been suggested by our darling friend, Chynna Blue Scott, that I replace all of her plants with less law abiding plants. I’ve also considered making all of her ice cubes out of vodka, but then I realized it didn’t freeze, so NO.
Anyways, until Kristen returns, I am the Undead Uno, who coincidentally, is kick ass at Uno. I will not be hosting a blog radio show until her return out of sheer rage that she went without me.
But when she does return, we shall take the Undead world by storm, mostly poolside, always with coffee, sometimes with beer, and we shall entertain and plot our next move which I assure you will be monumental and terrifying to some degree.
Until then, keep me company! I’m so alone.
Today’s Brew: I’d get drunk if I didn’t have so much to do.
Yeah. I’m going away for work. For weeks, I thought I was leaving on Tuesday.
I leave tomorrow.
I’m running around in a half panic, since I have nothing done.
Since I’ll be on a plane, I have cancelled tomorrow night’s blog radio show. We didn’t have enough time for Julie to find a guest co host. But don’t worry, I’ll be back and we’ll be better than ever.
And if you’re even thinking about breaking into my house, it is guarded by HIV Positive rabid dogs. And my meth mouthed and other crazy neighbors. There’s enough crazy here to make you think twice about wanting my stuff. Don’t steal my stuff.