Deadly Ever After

The Existence of Frigging Creeps, Specifically Ken Hoinsky

TODAY’S BREW: Tea. I am puketastic today. And no, not hungover.

By Julie


A recent Kickstarter campaign supported what’s being deemed as a “rape manual.”  I choose this bit of brilliance from Above the Game: A Guide to Getting Awesome With Women by Ken Hoinsky, to speak about today:

To quote Rob Judge, “Personal space is for pussies.” I already told you that the most successful seducers are those who can’t keep their hands off of women. Well you’re not gonna be able to do that if you aren’t in close! ”

“All the greatest seducers in history could not keep their hands off of women. They aggressively escalated physically with every woman they were flirting with. They began touching them immediately, kept great body language and eye contact, and were shameless in their physicality. Even when a girl rejects your advances, she KNOWS that you desire her. That’s hot. It arouses her physically and psychologically.”

“Decide that you’re going to sit in a position where you can rub her leg and back. Physically pick her up and sit her on your lap. Don’t ask for permission. Be dominant. Force her to rebuff your advances.”

Okay, wow. First of all, “aggressively” physically escalate with “every woman?” So, grope at will, basically. There’s been a lot of upstart about how this victimizes women, and most certainly it does, but the only thing I can think is if a man aggressively touched me simply because we were flirting, I would beat the shit of this man fast. I understand women are supposed to be fragile little things, but that’s a load of crap. A tiny girl can kick a man in the nuts as easily as a lumberjack could.

The misguided dominance factor is a little trickier. This jackass has it all wrong, obviously, with the “force her to rebuff your advances” bit. I mean, if I have to fight you off, I don’t like you. Pretty easy. It is not physically arousing to have a pushy sonofabitch force themselves on me. Aggression is different than dominance, and they are both different than confidence. Confidence is undeniably attractive, in both men and women. Having to take it to an aggressive level actually says you have very little confidence, that you must resort to force in order to get someone to want you. Pathetic.

This being said, I can see how an idiot could say that dominance is a turn on to women. Have we not all seen what Fifty Shades of Grey has done to the public perception of being tied up, ordered around, physically abused and mentally subdued? Who knew that a submissive/dominant relationship could have such mass appeal? And that Christian Grey could become the literary heart throb that he has? He’s certainly a far call from the romantic, sweep-you-off-your-feet leading man that we find in Romance novels. So what is it about being dominated that appeals to women? Is this jackass onto something? I don’t think so, but the ability to misinterpret is there.

End of the day, saying that there is a formula to getting a woman to open her legs for you is utterly ridiculous. And to plainly state that physical force is the way to do it, well, pretty sure we’re talking about rape here. The kind of man that thinks women are a box to unlock with some universal key can not possibly make me believe he’s ever had a normal relationship with a woman.

I am still floored every day that sexism, victimization, and rape mentality is a thing. It proves to me that it’s a sickness that can’t be outgrown or eradicated from culture, only dealt with continually. Today’s focus should be on the moron who thinks that force is a great way to land a woman, and his absurdly enormous number of contributors. 710 supporters, to the tune of almost $16,000, when the original campaign was only calling for $2,000 shows me that this is a mentality people agree with, and not just some really terrible joke that’s gaining popularity.

Clearly the number of dirtbags in the world is still growing.


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10 thoughts on “The Existence of Frigging Creeps, Specifically Ken Hoinsky

  1. I don’t know you, Julie, but I love you! Such a great post. Way to stand up for women. Too many people are hesitant about speaking out about injustice.

  2. Ugh, thank you. I was trying to explain the problem with this Kickstarter to an acquaintance of mine who was just. not. getting it. I’m going to share this with him.

  3. Great post. Thank you so much for sharing.

  4. bookishblurb on said:
  5. My only hesitation in applauding this post is by outing this asshole is that he is getting free publicity. Some say that any publicity is good publicity.

    I’m horrified that people found the need to give this jerk money. I’m not even going to refer to him as a man. He’s an immature coward. Besides the fact you do not need sixteen thousand dollars to publish a book, or even two thousand, people supported this asshattery. In a time where people will use a piss poor economy to not attend to basic needs, they gave their money to this monstrosity. Assuming that all of the contributors were male, don’t they have wives, girlfriends, sisters, mothers? Would they want to see their loved ones groped and manhandled? It’s a little different when it’s someone you love, isn’t it guys? Not just someone you see a toy.

    I noticed a decline in some men’s attitude towards women when I used to go out dancing. At first, everyone was respectful. Of course, they tried to get you to go home with them, or even out to the parking lot, but they’d gracefully take no for an answer. At the end of my dancing queen days, men would grope, hump, and ask you to undress so they could take photos. Yes, that happened. It got to the point I didn’t even want to go anymore, for that reason. It got scary. Predators like this don’t need a manual giving them so called permission to act like this and they certainly don’t need any ideas.

    Even more infuriating, this loser was on Reddit. The purpose of Reddit, if you’re not familiar, is to share external links, like those of this blog, with others so you can drive traffic to your site. We got a lot of traffic from Reddit. But we also keep getting blocked for “spamming.” We’re doing what we’re supposed to, and we’re not allowed to use Reddit, but this fucktard got to raise $16,000?

    Please explain this to me. Someone, anyone. Yeah, didn’t think so.


  6. Great post, Kristen. Here’s another “thing”.

  7. missmolls on said:

    I can feel my hair throbbing. With wrath.
    Also, thanks to Julie.

  8. Pingback: Happy Anniversary! | deadlyeverafter

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