The Responsibility of Being Ourselves
Today’s Brew: It’s so gorgeous out, I think it might have to be Margarita Monday.
I have so many things that I want to write about today I’m not even sure which one I should pick. So I’m going to try to make them all make sense.
You can take the girl out of management, but you can’t take management out of the girl. I used to spend a lot of time at the the hospital with my mom. It didn’t scare me so much anymore, which should have been my first clue something was horribly wrong. Of course, now I can’t go into one without having a panic attack, the feeling I’m going to leave without an important piece of my life. But in more optimistic days, I made small talk with one of the nurses. I asked her if the hospital had any patterns of busyness, like a store would. Maybe it was a coping technique that I was even thinking about that while I was there. Anyway, she said yes, there were definite patterns. Mondays were busy. No one wanted to ruin their weekend off with a hospital visit. They also had a spike in visitors after Christmas, due to overeating, depression, and adverse reactions to manufactured, mechanical joy.
The moral of the story: People don’t want to miss the important stuff, even when they’re sick enough to need to go to the ER. But yet we give it up all the time, because we’re responsible adults and that’s is what we’re supposed to do. Work and responsibility and bills and in laws and all the stupid crap people put up on Facebook to prove to all of us they are really good people. This theme keeps getting thrust in my face this last week or so.
We have a new follower, Taking Back Earth. Basically, his blog is about taking life by the balls and doing what he wants. I found several other of these blogs in searches for eclectic house decor (oddly enough, although I shouldn’t be that surprised that my hippie design ethos would lead me to such things) A Beautiful Mess, Betty Means Business, and Delightfully Tacky. Besides drooling over brightly colored decor, what have I learned? What I knew all along. Normal bores more.
It’s better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring.–Marilyn Monroe
“If you want to make enemies, try to change something.” – Woodrow Wilson
I’m blessed not to have to work a 9-5 job. As cool as my job can be, it’s still work. And being a freelancer can often happen at the most inconvenient times. Usually during birthday parties, concerts, roller derby practice, etc. I miss a lot. I’ve always been afraid to take vacations. I might miss work, after all. Things started slowly this year and for the first time in a long time, I’ve been able to do a lot of the things I’ve been missing. It feels good. It’s made me reconsider my work work work and more work credo. Again, retail graduate: work til you puke, then work some more. Brag about working while puking when lesser employees try to call in sick.
Someone called me for a last minute job on Saturday. Instead of just blindly saying yes, I asked about the timing. I wanted to check out the Fierce Reads Tour (which I will be blogging about on Thursday). At first, the photographer seemed to be willing to let me work a half day, even though I told him that it wasn’t something I needed to do, just wanted to do. He then called me back to say they found someone who could stay all day. At one time, I would have been devastated over losing the money. But now I realize I need to do things for me, too.
I don’t know if writing has anything to do with it. When we write, we delve in deep and not only figure out what our characters are made of and what they want, but we find out the same things about ourselves. Even if we’re not technically bleeding on the page, the process of creating a three dimensional character is extremely therapeutic. Last night I tweeted Julie a line from the new manuscript I’m working on:
“Erin kept time to the music on her accelerator pedal, making my coffee slosh violently around my stomach.”–Night Moves
I do that all the time. Julie hates it. I wind up injecting a little bit of myself into all of my characters, especially the women. This particular line isn’t deep, but some of them are extremely introspective. I figure I have enough quirks to spread through several books.
On Wednesday, I’m going to try surfing. I’ve wanted to try this my whole life. I asked my friend Jessica when would be good for her, she’s got a babysitter that day. I told her so far it looks good. She said, “Oh no, you’re booked. I never have a day off from being a mom.” I realized she was right. I’m playing hooky for the first part of that day. Then I’m going to do a photoshoot that’s simply for my portfolio, something else I’m always scared to do in the middle of the week because I might miss a paying job. I need the photos desperately. They’ll wind up getting me booked far beyond Wednesday.
Sometimes, doing the thing that doesn’t make the most money makes you richer than the paycheck ever would.