Kristen in the Valley of the Dolls
Today’s Brew: Tim Horton’s! Not anymore.
I’ve figured out two important things in life:
1. All of my greatest decisions are made on the fly. These include moving to Las Vegas as well as going to school for makeup.
2. If I can’t stop thinking about something, I really, really want it. Figuring this out has actually saved me a lot of money on impulse shopping.
When I checked Pamela Des Barres’ website to see when and where she might be doing one of her writing workshops, I couldn’t get the Toronto date out of my mind. Sure, she was doing two in New York, but I always go to New York for everything. (insert whining about first world problems here) I’d only been to Toronto once for a concert. We didn’t stay. And it was ages ago. But it was far! And in another country! And I’d have to go all by my onesies. (insert more whining). But damn it, I wanted to go.
So I said fuck it. I want to go. I owe it to my rock n’ roll muses, Callie and Melanie, to go meet their fairy godmother.
And it was a great decision. Sure, the ride was long. Eleven hours. And yeah, going to another country alone is scary. Even though it’s Canada, many things are different. The money. The road systems. The metric system. Getting gas scared me because it’s done in cents by the litre and not dollars by the gallon. I booked myself a cute little room at a bed and breakfast (The Annex Guest House) in a really great part of the city–The Annex. I picked something cool completely without knowing it. That never happens.
Walking into the class was scary all on it’s own. You know, just randomly swinging by someone’s house that you’ve never met always gets the juices flowing for me. I was warmly welcomed by about 16 or so amazing women. We wrote together, we laughed, we cried. We gossiped about men and rockstars and sex. Other than that, I can tell you no more. What happens with the Dolls, stays with the Dolls.
So what did I learn in this seminar? That even though we all had so much in common, our journeys to Miki’s living room were completely different. Knowing that what made each one of us awesome was us. It was OK to be ourselves, truly and freely.
You might be saying, duh, Kristen. Where have you been? Well, being yourself isn’t always the easiest thing. We’re all taught to conform, and sometimes it seems like “growing up” means growing out of our passions. I fell into that bullshit trap, and now I am climbing out of it. And I’ve never been happier. Ever since I started writing seriously, I’ve found that expressing myself, what I’m really thinking, has been much easier. This just opened another door.
To add to Kristen’s Life Guidelines:
3. Sometimes the scary stuff is the good stuff. If you don’t try, you can’t succeed.
I’ll post more on my trip to Toronto later this week. Stay Tuned!