Deadly Ever After

The Writing Adventures of The Undead Duo–Julie Hutchings and Kristen Strassel

Plan C: This Is Our Perfect Crime

Today’s Brew:  10 percent alcohol pirate beer

Here is the latest installment of The Plan, quickies by Kristen and Julie.  For those of you are new to The Plan, Julie and I use our old fashioned, tried and true technique of passing a notebook back and forth to write monthly flash fiction about our pet serial killers. Catch up on Plan A and Plan B here.  Enjoy, loves.  This should get you in the mood for Stories To Strip By.

I could smell the cinnamon and vanilla a seat away.  Nipple tassels and a Walmart G string did nothing to cover her, and I almost slipped a couple of times as she wound herself around Jeff, grinding him like the whore she was.  I didn’t care if she was just trying to do her job.  Bitch, he belonged to me.

“You want more, baby?” Her voice was as sick and wet as the rest of her.  Jeff groaned into her ear and my own ears pounded full of blood.

Unbelievable.

I saw him slip her something that looked an awful lot like money. Really, Jeff? She smiled (at least she had all her teeth), arching her back as she slipped the new acquisition into her pleather thigh high boot.

If he thought he was going to fuck me after sticking himself inside that rancid pussy, he could think again.

His mouth slacked and his eyes glazed over as she unzipped his fly and jutted her breasts forward.  Jeff ripped off one of her pasties with his teeth, exposing her hard nipple, and spit the debris in my direction.  He went to work on her naked breast. I crossed my legs and looked away, trying not to slam both of their heads against the table.  I thought better of it, not wanting to spill the over priced strip club beer.

Anyway, I needed Jeff alive.  What other sick fuck could I find on such short notice?  I needed to do this like I needed to breathe now.

If I was going down, it wasn’t in the world’s seediest strip bar.  My feet stuck to the floor with God knows what kind of goo and my blood boiled, knowing his cum was about to join the stew.

I turned back towards him, glaring.  I hoped he at least thought to use a condom. He held the whore by the hips, guiding her up and down in a way that would bruise even a cheap slut such as herself.  She threw her head back, screaming, loving every second of it. I looked away again, wishing it was me screaming like that, and realized Jeff and the whore attracted a healthy sized group of admirers.

At least if he was going to fuck this filthy girl in public, he did it with enough panache to draw a crowd. My groin pulsed, betraying me, and I tried my best to keep my envy at bay.

I would have fucked him in a room full of people.  Who knew he was into that? All he had to do was say the word. He could have saved himself the inconvenience and the discomfort of the gonorrhea shot he had coming to him.

“Hey buddy! That’s not how you treat our ladies!” A burly, roid ragey looking bouncer tried to restore some decorum to this fine establishment. When Jeff just went on pounding the whore, the bouncer responded by pounding Jeff on the back of the head.

“What the fuck?!” I leaped to my feet, grabbed the behemoth by the shoulder, having at him.  He was too big for me to move.

The whore backed away like she hadn’t begged Jeff to fuck her in exchange for his money. “I don’t know what happened, Bruno, he just started doing it!”

I wanted to rip her trachea out with my bare fucking hands, pull her hair like Jeff did when he plunged inside her, and watch her bleed out all over the sex stained floor.

She just knew I’d kill her without a second thought.  Maybe she wasn’t so dumb after all.

I smashed my Heineken bottle on the table, sending the empty bottles flying, and twisted it around to look at it’s shattered neck as men swore and strippers screeched all around me. Jeff struggled to stuff his still hard dick back into his pants, rising to his feet to square off with the bouncer.

Before he had a chance to strike, I jumped on the monstrosity’s back and gouged his throat with the broken bottle, smiling as I heard the satisfying snap of his arteries.  His blood gurgled as it gushed all over his polo.

I looked directly at the whore, plunging the glass shard deeper into his neck.

“You’re next.” I mouthed to her. I couldn’t have wiped the shit eating grin off my face even if I wanted to.

She ran, naked body parts still attached.  I screamed at her to stop as I jumped off the oaf’s back.  He hit the floor with a thud, knocking over chairs and tables in his wake.

“Kendall! We gotta go!” Jeff grabbed my cheeks forcing me to look back at him. “I think I heard sirens.”

Damn, just when I was about to make good on my promise.

“Okay, baby.” We ran out a side door.  Some filthy guys chased after us, but most were too drunk to care.

We didn’t stop running for seven blocks.  Sweating and panting like  the whore I was sorry I didn’t get a chance to kill, we ducked into an alley.  We laughed until we fell on our asses.

“I don’t think we should go to another strip club for a while.” I said, fighting the giggles, as I tried to catch my breath. I was so happy to share this moment with him.

“I don’t know what you mean, Kendall.  Fucking strippers, killing bouncers. It felt pretty good to me.  Happy Valentine’s Day, Baby.”  He kissed me with bloody lips.  “This was our perfect crime.”

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11 thoughts on “Plan C: This Is Our Perfect Crime

  1. Holy shit! That was fucked up but awesome at the same time!! Loved it!

  2. Frighteningly twisted and yet provocative at the same time. I love it!

  3. That’s us. LOL Is it bad we take these things as compliments?

    Kristen

  4. Speechless is no fun, Miss Mari.

  5. lol I love it! Crazy stuff going on there.

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