Deadly Ever After

Let’s Get Ready to Randoooommmm!: Julie’s Ramblings on Breaking Dawn

TODAY’S BREW: Hazelnut, then pumpkin, then hazelnut, then beer.

I am especially psyched out of my mind for my midnight adventure with Kristen to go see Breaking Dawn 2.  We have been to all of the Twilight movies together at midnight, with all the teenage girls and their boyfriends, and the housewives and the occasional dad.  This time, Kristen will be drunk, though.  That last movie put her right over the edge.

So, I have heard several people’s thoughts on both Breaking Dawn the movie, and the novel.  I will not recount them for you here, so don’t change the channel.  This is just about me and Kristen, like all good things.  As far as the novel, goes, I loved it as much as Twilight, though for different reasons.  I enjoyed the gruesomeness of Bella’s pregnancy.  I also thought this was done really well in the movie, I mean she looked wretched.  And that scene where her back breaks?  Good stuff.  I loved meeting all of the other vampires, and learning about their individual stories and powers.  The mythology is original and I thought the relationships between the vampires was interesting.  I thought it gave credibility to the bigger picture of the Volturi, and took you out of Bella and Edward’s relationship just enough to be refreshing.  I mean, after that honeymoon, I needed a break.

Kristen hates all of that.  She doesn’t care.  Fair enough.

When it came to the movie, I was personally offended by the werewolves speaking to each other like people, mouths moving and all.  Kristen did not mind this.  I find this fascinating, as Kristen is annoyed by the idea of werewolves in general, and this is the cherry on top for me.  (Side note: If you don’t hate werewolves, go read Jason Starr’s The Pack.  It is super fantastic.)  Other things that gave me issue:  Apparently, in one day it is possible to travel from Washington to Brazil.  Impressive.  And do I have to mention that everyone except Bella gets uglier in every movie?  Jesus Christ, leave their hair alone.  Except Jasper–just fix it.  Make it normal.  I have high hopes for his hair in the last movie.  They have tried everything else, please get it right this time.  Esme, the poor thing, started out gorgeous in underfunded Twilightand they just destroy her more in every film.  Not nice.

And now for the moment you’ve probably not all been waiting for…WHAT DO THE UNDEAD DUO THINK OF RENEESME? Or Renesme, or however it is spelled.  Kristen is mortally wounded by the entire thing.  She wants nothing to do with the little creep.  She hates the name, she hates the power the kid has, she hates that she is the offspring of Edward, who she has avid dislike for, and mousy Bella.  I like the weirdness of the whole thing.  I love weird.  I like the creepy kid.  Talking infants that can make you see shit?  Fun.  If this were a horror novel/movie, that could be killer.  Case in point, it is not, so it is just creepy, which is good enough for me.  Four books just about Bella and Edward would be dull as hell.  The whole imprinting thing with the baby and Jacob can’t be anything but weird.  It is a baby.  Come on.  But I find it to be an absolutely brilliant solution to all of the conflicts in the series, from why Bella and Jacob can’t be together, to why the wolves have to have a truce with the vampires, and why the baby can’t be killed.  That’s some mastery and complexity to aspire to.  (I do aspire to this in Running Home, as well as the rest of the trilogy in the works.  I like complex.  Kristen prefers the Keep It Simple, Stupid approach in the Immortal Dilemma series.)

(Kristen’s note:  my approach simply refers to me preferring to stick to one mythology, i.e. vampires.  I do not believe that just because you have vampires you need to have werewolves and brownies and fae.  Pick one and make it as rich as possible.)

I will let you know in no less random format what we think of the movie on Friday.  I will have to write it because Kristen will still be nursing a hangover.  Let us know your thoughts on Breaking Dawn, the first one, the second one, the movie or all three.  We love this crap.


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7 thoughts on “Let’s Get Ready to Randoooommmm!: Julie’s Ramblings on Breaking Dawn

  1. Julie! You made me sound like a horrible bitch who hates everything! Not true. I only hate some things. I like Jacob, even though I’m not into wereanything. I am just not a Twilight fan. The only reason this tradition started is because when the first movie came out, Julie worked 800 hours a week and had a little one. I could only get her once a year at midnight. So I put up with the dumb movies for some hot Julie action. That is true friendship.

    And that kid, Resume. (yes I know I am horribly wrong but that name is nothing short of awful). Ugh. How am I going to sit through two hours of that rotten kid??

    • +While reading this super fast at 5:30 am it read (and I quote…) “I like Jacob though I’m not into wearing anything”. I thought ‘Wow…that Kristen really REALLY likes Jacob’, and then I thought ‘obviously a friend of Julie’s’. Then I re-read it and went to make coffee to wake my brain up.
      My 2 cents are I loved the books, movies are adequate, Edward all the way. I covered all pertinent topics. Now Kristen for Gods sake go put on a robe and write a spoof where Resume dies a horrible death. You’e a writer you have the power.

  2. Haven’t watched the movies. IMHO all movies are ruined, they are so changed from the original stories.

  3. Don’t worry, Kristen, you keep the people who hate the books and movies and all that comes with it here. I truly don’t know what I think of the books and I like knowing that in my crazy moodiness, I can come here and there is someone on my side no matter my feelings for the day.

  4. I did think “R-rated movie” after I first read the birth scene…

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